Singles' Encounter Weekend No. 12

I've never felt so much touched by God until I met them...

For the past few days, I've been not myself anymore. I've been trying to be ok yet it still hurts so much inside... like my heart is going to burst into tiny pieces... I'm so happy God has given me many true friends that I could count on through thick and thin. They help me to move on and fix my broken life... One of them encouraged me to join her on a retreat held last April 18-20, 2008 in Sienna Retreat House, San Jose del Monte City, Bulacan then my life started to change...

Struggling to make the journey

It was a busy Friday and the work load for the day really burned me out. My team lead for tech support was on leave too. That day was so miserable. My friend already called me, telling me that we were running late for the retreat and yet, I'm the midst of a rush task. I rushed, trying to finish everything before I leave but I really lack the time. I just left my work and almost fly to her apartment to fetch her. It's difficult to have a ride - either by cab or jeepney. I was already losing my patience as I wait in Ayala Avenue for almost an hour. After fetching my friend, we hurried to the MRT and went to Ortigas where her parents were already waiting to drive us to the retreat house. When we arrived at Gate-2, it was 9.30 pm and we needed to wait for another hour for someone to lead us to the other gate because it is already locked... At last, we arrived but we missed the first session...

The chosen ones of God

There, I met them, the chosen ones of God... All in all, we were 13 candidates for Singles' Encounter Weekend 12.

Myself aka "computer geek"
Charmaine Xyza San Miguel aka "reyna ng sablay"
Rhea Diaz aka "obsessive complusive"
Madel Roxas aka "happy person"
Christine Aguilar
Mariz Lazaro aka "kikay"
Janina Charise Bautista aka "baby chef"

Lui Pacheco aka "rehab boy"
Ron Roxas aka "matakaw"
Jayson Rivera aka "baluktot"
Raymond Ramirez
Dexter Anguac
Juan Paolo Lleno

Know thy self

In that retreat, I began to discover myself again... I've known the different masks that I wear for me to be acceptable by other people. During those sessions, I can't help but cry with all the things that I've realized. I let go of pain, anger, rejection, fear and other emotions and I felt so much better now...

The truth shall set you free

The truth really hurts but one must accept it to be free. I've become to realize that I've been only pretending most of the time to please everybody. I would start moving all the masks and be true to myself. Now, I've opened up my eyes to the reality that when you love, you would also get hurt... and you need to love yourself first before loving others. Respect yourself.

The start of something new

It is nice to know that there are people caring for you. God uses other people as instruments for us to find the true meaning of life. Everyday, the SE 12 group would send group messages to each other - share what they feel, their problems and achievements. There is a sense of belongingness that they let me feel even if we're all separated by distance. We long for each other's presence and our bonding last retreat was quite strong that even if we are faced with difficult challenges in life, we could surpass them all with the help of each other.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I've known these biblical verses ever since I was in grade school... Only now, I have fully understood its true meaning...True love is really difficult to achieve.

Love is patient, love is kind

I remember the time when I was supposed meet my ex-bf before. He told me to meet him at the the train station... His mobile phone could not be reached when I have attempted to call him as I was standing there for 2 hours already. Then, I have decided to call him at their house. I found out that he just woke up. I've already been waiting for hours... *Sighs...* It took him 1 hour to prepare himself and another 2 hours to go to where I am... total of 5 hours all in all. I've still managed to wait for him even though I really wanna shout at him for being late and making me wait all the time.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking

He often hurts me with his words and his actions... He does not appreciate a bit of me and I feel I'm not treasured at all... He's bad to me, as they say to me, but I loved him so much that I didn't want to leave him before...

It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs

I wanna get angry every time he does it to me... Whenever I try to fix things for both of us, he'll just walk away and I would just run after him, even if the reason of all the arguments is just simple. But I really loved him that time, I always run after him...

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth

The truth hurts but it shall set you free... When my ex-bf told me he wants to broke up with me, my tears can't help but fall... Here was the guy I have loved more than I have even loved myself and he wanted his freedom. It really hurts and the pain was great, but it is the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves

I have always wished that he would fetch me from school and the office, but he was not like that. He preferred being with his group of friends and always entrusting other people to take care of me. I envied those girls with those type of boyfriends who always attend immediately to their needs... I always hoped that he wanted to protect me...

Love never fails

After our long relationship that lasted for 3 years 9 months, I really broke down... My heart was shattered into pieces... I tried to make him come back to me. I almost knelt down before him, asking him to choose me over her but he turned around and left me. I wanna believe it's not over but... our precious relationship ended and we failed...

If you asked me to

Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
Its been a long time since Ive had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said Id never let nobody near my heart again darlin
I said Id never let nobody in

But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to

Somehow ever since Ive been around you
Cant go back to being on my own
Cant help feeling darling since Ive found you
That Ive found my home
That Im finally home
I said Id never let nobody get too close to me darling
I said I needed, needed to be free

(but if you asked me to...)

Asked me to, I will give my world to you baby
I need you now
Ask me to and Ill do anything for you baby, for you baby

If you asked me to
Id let you in my life forever
If you asked me to...

Let the Joy Rise

It was one of those unfamiliar days
I was looking for one friendly face
There seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over my heard
But I was never known to be sad
All I wanted was to spread love and get some back
I know the brighter days will come and find me

And when there were times when I feel all alone
I reach down inside, feel the strength in my soul
I look to the skies, dry the tears from my eyes

I let the joy rise, from the ocean to the morning sky
And if the love falls, just remember
You've got to let the joy rise

My solid rock that I stand on now
My inner faith has lifted me up now
I'm free and happy to shine my light on you, for you, oh...

There are no more times when I feel all alone
I reached down inside, feel the strength in my soul
I look to the skies, dry the tears from my eyes

I let the joy rise, from the ocean to the morning sky
And if the love falls, just remember
You've got to let the joy rise

Have you ever?

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go