Feeling Mnemosyne

Magnificent

2010-07-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

Who compares to You?

Who set the stars in their place?

You who calmed the raging seas

That came crashing over me

Who compares to You?

You who bring the morning light

The hope of all the earth

Is rest assured in Your great love

You are magnificent, eternally

Wonderful, glorious

Jesus

No one ever will compare to You

Jesus

Where the evening fades

You call forth songs of joy

As the morning wakes

We Your children give You praise

Pieces of Past Memories

2010-07-20T10:35:00.001-07:00

I saw myself centuries ago, wearing a long black silk gown with my long, straight black hair down my shoulders... The gown was simple yet elegant and on my neck was a silver necklace with a cross pendant, the one he gave me before I left...

I can still remember the day he gave me that necklace... How the wind blew our hair... How he smiled at me while showing it to me... How he put the necklace on me and how tight he hugged me... How I long for those hugs... How I long for that touch... How I long for that moment to happen again... Will he even remember me or am I just a piece of his forgotten past memories?

Angels brought me here

2010-01-11T08:10:00.000-08:00

It's been a long and winding journey, but I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces, and walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory, where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling, when i look into your eyes...

[Bridge]
My dreams came true, when i found you
I found you, my miracle...

[Chorus]
If you could see, what i see, that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

[Verse 2]
Standing here before you, feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love, every heartbeat speaks your name...

[Bridge 2]
My dreams came true, right here in front of you
My miracle...

[Chorus]
If you could see, what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

[Bridge 3]
Brought me here to be with you,
I'll be forever grateful (oh forever Faithful)
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle...

[Chorus]
If you could see, what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...
Yes they brought me here...
If you could feel, the tenderness i feel...
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

Bye, President Cory Aquino

2009-08-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

I am one of the "EDSA babies" - the term they call those who were born in time of the EDSA Revolution in 1986. I am just 3 months old that time. I can still remember seeing her... Cory Aquino wearing yellow together with all the people holding each other - men, women, priests praying, nuns with rosaries - when a military tank came. It was like imprinted in my young mind. I'm 23 years old now and yet it was all clear to me... what all happened that day. It was called the People Power Revolution, the one who threw Marcos out of his throne.

Cory Aquino is the wife of the late Ninoy Aquino, a senator who actively oppose the Marcos government and said "Filipinos are worth dying for..." He was shot at Tarmac Airport (now called, Ninoy Aquino International Airport) the moment the plane he boarded landed. Even though she was just a plain housewife, she accepted it wholeheartedly when people wanted her to run as a Presidential candidate. She did it for us, Filipinos... She fought for our freedom... democracy that Marcos took away from us.

And now, the democracy icon who is known to the whole world passed away... I can't help my tears fall upon hearing the sad news but at the same time, I'm glad that Cory and Ninoy would be reunited in heaven now.

Tita Cory, we love you... all Filipinos mourn for your passing. We're thankful that we have both of you - kababayans who are brave to fight for us. May you be reunited with Ninoy in heaven. Thank you for giving us this freedom we enjoy now. We'll take care of your legacy...

The Tale of Three Trees

2009-06-22T02:23:00.000-07:00

Believe me, this is just a kindergarten story but when I've heard this story, it has strucked me, right to my heart...

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: "I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!" The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on its way to the ocean. "I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world!" The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me, they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world."

Years passed and the little trees grew tall. One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain. The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining ax, the first tree fell. "Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" the first tree said. The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining ax, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!" The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the woodcutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me." He muttered. With a swoop of his shining ax the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, nor with treasure. She was coated with sawdust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty ship was made that day. Instead, the once strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river. Instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. "All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God..."

Many, many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. "I wish I could make a cradle for him," her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and the sturdy wood. "This manger is beautiful," she said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She knew she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awakened. He stood up, stretched out his hand and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the King of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten woodpile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hands to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.

That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

So the next time you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better to give you.

A Scorpion Moment

2009-03-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from Moments by Fr. Jerry M. Orbos, SVD:

Do you sometimes feel like giving up loving? Do you feel like giving up your goodness? Please don't.

Take time to read this story. There was this Hindu who saw a scorpion floundering around in the water. He decided to save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him. The man still tried to get the scorpion out of the water, but the scorpion stung him again.

A man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion that kept stinging him, but the Hindu said: "It is the nature of the scorpion to sting. It is my nature to love. Why should I give up my nature to love just because it is the nature of the scorpion to sting?"

Don't give up loving.

Don't give up your goodness.

Even if... people around you sting...

A Moment with the Lord

Lord, help me to love and keep loving in spite of hurts, and to hold on to the goodness within me. Amen.

Accidents Happen

2008-10-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

This is what Drue told me... Yes, accidents do happen and it happened to us... and this is the accident that started it all... the funniest love story in my life but I can say the most serious love relationship I've ever had and here it goes.

Total Darkness

This year has been definitely the darkest part of my life... I was in financial crisis... there was a misunderstanding in the family... someone attempted suicide... my love life got so complicated... I ended up with a broken heart... depression came... things got so messed up... expectations not met... work greatly affected... then, I ended up with nothing at all... Yes, total nothingness... I almost lost it all... I even came up to a point that I wanted to talk to no one because I believed no one can understand me anymore... even my family and my closest friends cannot... and I only talk to Him, God...

The accident

I wanted to fix up my wrath life and I was looking for a new job. With a new environment, I could start a new life. This is what I've been telling myself after all that had happened. My boss from my previous work asked for my updated resume which later, I learned that her husband, my close friend and org mate which is like more of an older brother to me, sent this to his friend and another friend of mine, my co-officer sent my resume to her previous company where she worked part-time before, which is coincidentally the same company where also my other org co-officer works. Amazing, right? It's like magic... or perhaps I can say it's more like of a destiny... After a phone interview, I was hired immediately and was requested to start as soon as possible.

From darkness came the light

There, I slowly recovered. New environment, new set of friends... Whew! I can relax now... *Sighs...* That's what I wanted to do after a few months of turmoil in my life... There, I met him, my Drue... Actually, my friend who recommended me to the new work, was already matching us even if I haven't met the guy. She was building him up so much that I'd got curious why she was so persistent in matching us... then, I just ride in to their matchmaking fun...

Getting too close

I never ever thought I'd find him there... It was so unexpected, too sudden but I'm glad that I did... I found Drue... His name is Francis Andrew but I loved etymology (Drue is a variant name form of Andrew)... I wanted to call him differently... or should I say I wanted to call him a special name. Here's a good guy I never imagined to have ever existed... This guy never failed to make me smile... He always make me feel better and I felt I've been so much loved and appreciated... that whenever I'm with him, I could just be myself.

That was the start of it all. We were just seated few inches from each other but we loved chatting thru YM... Then, phone calls and exchange of text messages also became frequent. At first, we learned to value each other as very close friends although I can feel that there is more than just friendship... Still, I just remained silent and waited for something to happen...

It's time for goodbye

Then, came a time when I needed to leave the new work too soon... I know that he doesn't want me to go yet he told me he'll support my decision. I was in great agony and it was getting difficult for me to leave Drue there but I needed to be firm with my decision and I did it... I needed to follow my dreams and do what I really wanted to do... I resigned.

Suddenly fallen in love

My last day is nearing by... I can feel his sadness and it's tearing my heart apart to see him like that... He plays some sad songs and I know he wanted to say something to me... and I was right. He started telling I'm special and I made him remember the feeling of being loved and cared by someone... The feeling is mutual... I've already fallen in love with this guy and I was just waiting those words from him... "What If I tell you that I've fallen for you, will you catch me?" He had a hard time telling me these words but I was so happy that he already had the courage to tell me so... At last, I heard it from him and I could love him much better. "Yes, I'll catch you..."

The best gift from God

I've never been this happy in my life... Drue always makes me feel special everyday in every way he can. Our day wouldn't start without a phone call or text message from each other. He would wake me up in the morning, tell me how much he loves me, remind me of things that I need to do... make me smile when he sees me sad... would bring me breakfast when I spent overnight at the office... encourage me when I needed the confidence boost... drive me home so that he knows I'm safe... hug me when I needed it the most... Could I ask for more? Here's the guy I always dreamed to be with... the guy I wanna spend my life forever... and I wish it would happen... Until now, I'm falling deeper and deeper in love with him... and everyday, we are getting more and more addicted to each other... and this is the best gift I've received from Him... when God sent Drue to me... ^_^

Will of the wind

2008-09-29T00:07:00.000-07:00

I spent half my life
Looking at the reasons things must change.
And half my life trying to make them stay the same.
But love would fade like summer into fall;
All that I could see was a mystery,
It made no sense at all.

Chorus:
The will of the wind, you feel it and then,
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and God only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind.

I spent so many hours
Just thinkin' 'bout the way things might have been.
And so many hours trying to bring the good times back again.
And so it goes for lonely hearted fools;
They let their days slip away,
Until they give into...
(Repeat Chorus)

For the first time

2008-09-28T23:41:00.000-07:00

Are those your eyes
Is that your smile
Ive been looking at you forever
Yet I never saw you before
Are these your hands holding mine
Now I wonder how I could have been so blind
And for the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time Im seeing who you are
I cant believe how much I see
When youre looking back at me
Now I understand what love is, love is
For the first time

Can this be real
Can this be true
Am I the person I was this morning
And are you the same you
Its all so strange
How can it be
All along this love was right in front of me
And for the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time Im seeing who you are
I cant believe how much I see
When youre looking back at me
Now I understand what love is, love is
For the first time

Such a long time ago I had given up
On finding this emotion ever again
But youre here with me now
Yes I found you somehow
And Ive never been so sure
And for the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time Im seeing who you are
Cant believe how much I see
When youre looking back at me
Now I understand what love is, love is
For the first time
For the first time

Built to last

2008-09-15T03:50:00.000-07:00

I dunno why this song keeps playing on my mind

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.

Forevermore

2008-08-13T01:57:00.000-07:00

Please hear me out my friend
I've something to say that's from within
It's a last memory, try to think back
I'll help you see…

All of those nights we shared
All of those days you were there

I just wanna love you forevermore
And I wanna hold you just like before
And maybe someday, we might just find a way
And we can love forevermore…

If I could turn back time
I would have never let you go
And you would still be mine
But here I am crying all alone

All of the LOVE we shared
All of the TIME you were there

I just wanna love you forevermore
And I wanna hold you just like before
And maybe someday, we might just find a way
And we can love forevermore…

Oh I'm lost without you
Oh tell me what should I do,
Now that you're gone...
I can't go on alone
I'm a lonely man,
I need you again……

I just wanna love you forevermore
And I wanna hold you just like before
And maybe someday, we might just find a way
And we can love forevermore…

Yeah…

Kismet

2008-08-08T17:20:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I wish he would sing this to me...

Didn't mean to take you for granted
Didn't mean to show I don't care
Didn't mean to throw away this once in a lifetime of chance
Being with you

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

Pride no longer has room in me
On bended knees in public I cry
Your name for everyone to know that I love you, I love you
Please hear me now

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance(dance, dance)

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

This time I surrender
My everything....(my everything)..ooohh...

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

Pain in my heart

2008-08-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

Here I am alone in this empty room
And let my mind just fly you to the end
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair
I could still recall
Those memories of you
The joy and all your laughter
The love thast we've been through
Oh, I can't believe you're gone
Oh, no

Talkin' to myself for no reasons I could find
Findin' out why everything went wrong
Tears falling down my cheeks that
I've been trying to hold
It doesn't know if I could still go on
I wanted you to stay
The tears begin to show
You said you cared for me
But then you had to go
And now I know you're gone

But I don't want to remember
The things (we used to do/that we've been
Through)
And all the things that remind me of you
I don't want to hear the songs
The songs we used to sing
'coz I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

I just can't believe you're gone

No, no...
I don't wanna feel
Yeah, I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart
I don't wanna feel, don't know what went wrong
Oohh...

Them

2008-07-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a long run for me. I've been running and running as if I'm being chased by someone. I've been running, not knowing where direction I head to... All I know is that I needed to be somewhere... somewhere I would feel secured and loved. I needed to run away from all of them... the ones who hurt me... the ones who broke my heart... the ones who did these to me... Why did you ever have to come in my life? I thought you'll gonna make me feel better and make me feel loved... but what did you do? All of you just crushed my heart and now, it's all bruised... I don't understand why every time I turn my back from all of you and I started to make my way through my life alone, I'll just see you at the crossroad... then you'll bother about me again and here goes the history repeating itself... I'm already tired of running... Sometimes I just want to disappear and be born again with a different name, with a different identity, with a different me... I dunno if I'm gonna last like this forever... I'm growing tired of trying and trying.... of loving and hurting.... I just want to be numb from all the pain you've all caused me.... I just want to be happy but that happiness seems to be of out my reach yet... It's even far beyond my imagination... If you are one of them, do you know what I am talking about? Do you feel the pain you've inflicted on me? Do you know how much it affects me? Do you realize what you've done? Are you really that insensitive? I dunno if ever you're gonna read all of these but I hope someday you'll realize my true worth in your lives and how much you've really lost when all of you left me behind...

The last time

2008-07-18T21:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a week already when I made that difficult decision... I am letting go of him. It's better this way, I thought. It gave me immense pain as I've expected. I tried forgetting him and find it hard to survive each day as I lessen my communications with him. I cried each night and I wanted to be in his arms even if he's somewhere far... I love him but I've got no place in his life now. I wanted both of us to be happy but I just can't go on with our setup

When was the last time we were together? I think it's two months ago... and I miss him that badly. If I had just known that it would be last time I would be with him... I would have hugged him much tighter... I would have kissed him longer... I would have savored every minute that I've been with him the last time...

Am I regretting? Yes, I am. I'm hurting so much. My heart's been bruised but doesn't he even know? I don't think so... I am just a someone in his life and I am nothing for him... As much as I want to think that he loves me too, I can't accept the fact that I just waited for nothing. All these months, I waited for the day that I would be happy with him but now, that happiness is lost already. It already ended and I was the one who ended it for good...I just wish that he's fine out there and he's happy.

Hey, please don't worry about me, I am fine... Go on with your life without me... Take care of yourself and be happy. That's all you can do for me now. I love you, goodbye...

The leaf, the tree and the wind

2008-07-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

One busy day, I've got this text message which really caught my attention. It says:

Who should be blamed when a leaf fell from a tree? Is it the wind that blew it away? or the tree that let it go? or is it the leaf who grew tired of holding on?

You cannot blame the wind for blowing... and the leaf tried its best to hold on despite the wind is blowing it hard... I think the tree is the one responsible for the falling leaf. Why? If that tree has given enough nutrients to the leaf, the leaf will be much stronger and it will be able to survive the wind even the wild storm... If that tree has been strong enough to support the leaf, the leaf has not fallen... and the leaf might have been holding on to the tree until now...

It's funny how this simple text message can relate to what's happening in my life now. Sometimes, love just aint enough... No matter how much you try stay in the relationship, with your partner... if your partner won't help you to work it out, it's useless. You would just find yourself starting to let go of him... The pain is too much that no matter how much you want to still hold on, the wind is blowing too hard and you're falling apart... and that tree won't do anything to support and help you... then you would prefer to let go of him even if you love him too much because the pain hurts like hell...

All this time

2008-07-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

All this time
I know some day you'll need to find
Something that you left behind
Something I can't give you
All these tears
And like a light love disappears
But hearts are good for souvenirs
And memories are forever
All this time
All in all I've no regrets
The sun still shines the sun still sets
The heart forgives the heart forgets
But what will I do now with all this time

One more kiss
Even though it's come to this
I'll close my eyes and make a wish
Hoping you'll remember

All this time
All in all I've no regrets
The sun still shines the sun still sets
And the heart forgives, the heart forgets
But what will I do now with all this time

Say goodbye
Apart we'll make another try
But don't be sorry if you cry
I'll be crying too
On this day

All this time

All this time
All in all I've no regrets
The sun still shines the sun still sets
And the heart forgives, the heart forgets
But what will I do now with all this time
What will I do now with all this time

Starting over again

2008-07-18T20:00:00.001-07:00

And, when I hold you in my arms I promise you
You're gonna feel a love that's beautiful and new
This time I'll love you even better
Than I ever did before
And you'll be in my heart forever more

We, we're just too young to know
We fell in love and let it go
So easy to say the words goodbye
So hard to let the feeling die

I know how much I need you now
The time is turning back somehow
As soon as our hearts and souls unite
I know for sure we'll get the feeling right

CHORUS
And now we're starting over again
It's not the easiest thing to do
I'm feeling inside again
"Cause everytime I look at you
I know we're starting over again
This time we'll love all the pain away
Welcome home my lover and friend
We are starting over, over again

If we never lived alone
Then we might have never known
All of the time we spent apart
All we did was break each other's hearts

MUSIC TURNAROUND

And when I hold you in my arms I promise you
You're gonna feel a love that's beautiful and new
This time I'll love you even better
Than I ever did before
And you'll be in my heart forevermore

REPEAT CHORUS

And now we're starting over again
This time we'll chase all the rain away
Welcome home my lover and friend
We are starting over, over again
We are starting over, over again

Even if

2008-07-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

Even if the sun refused to shine
Even if we lived in different times
Even if the ocean left the sea
There would still be you and me

Ever since the start of time
You've had my love (oh yeah)
Even before i knew your name
I knew your heart (oh girl)
In the dark of the darkest night
I can see your face (oh yeah)
I always knew from the very start
I would find a way

Chorus:
Even if the sun refused to shine
Even if we lived in different times
Even if the ocean left the sea
There would still be you and me
Even if the world will disappear
Even if the clouds will shed no tears
Even if tonight was just a dream
There would still be you and me

You've always been and you're always will be
The only one (oh yeah)
Until forever the only girl (until forever)
I'll never lie (ohh..)
In the cold of a winter's chill
I'll be here to live a part
Oh girl, giving all you need for all time
No matter what

Chorus:

Two hearts that belong together
From the very start
One love, now and forever
Nothing can tear us apart

Chorus 2x

Parting Time

2008-07-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

I remember the days
When you're here with me
Those laughter and tears
We shared for years
Mem'ries that we had
For so long it's me and you
Now you're gone away
You left me all alone

Go on, do what you want
But please don't leave me
You'll break my heart
Hey, what should I do
Babe, I'm missin' you
Please don't disappear
These are the words that you should hear
Time and time again
I wish that you were here

I don't wanna lose you girl
I need you back to me
I don't wanna lose you
Baby can't you see
Oh, I need you
You've been a part of me

I wish someday you'll be back home
'Cause I really miss you
Darling, please come home

I wish someday you'll be back home
'Cause I really miss you
Darling, please come home

I am a Cactus

2008-07-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

I remember someone special told me that managing love relationships is like taking care of plants... If you take care of the plants very well, they would grow healthy, bloom with flowers and later on, bear fruits. Just like in love relationships, if you give much love, care and attention to your partner, the bond between both of you will be stronger, helping you grow into better individuals. How ironic that he has been able to compare plants to relationships but what the hell is he treating me like this now...

If I am a plant and he will be taking care of me, I will prefer to be a cactus. Why? It's very simple. Cactus plants do not require much care and attention. They have sufficient supply of water for themselves and they can live alone in the desert despite of the very hot climate. I wanna be a cactus when he treats me like this... It's as if I don't exist... At least, I can still care for him even if he does not care for me anymore...

I care

2008-07-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

Lying in my bed I find it hard to sleep tonight
Wondering if you're thinking of me too
Though I try to close my eyes I'm filled with thoughts of you
Even in my dreams there's none but you

*Let me say it one more time
The words are deep inside
This heart of mine has something to reveal
That you're always in my pray'r
And this time to you I swear
There's nothing I won't do for you
I care

Friends they say that I might fall in love deeply with you
Would you care if what they say is true
Never been like this before and never had a clue
If this is love, I'm sure it's something new

Oh how I wish you feel the same for me
Baby when you look at me
That's how you seem to be

Lips of an Angel

2008-07-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

After all

2008-07-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are again;
I guess it must be fate.
Weve tried it on our own,
But deep inside weve known
Wed be back to set things straight.

I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new.
Every memory repeats,
Every step I take retreats,
Every journey always brings me back to you.

(chorus)
After all the stops and starts,
We keep coming back to these two hearts,
Two angels whove been rescued from the fall.
After all that weve been through,
It all comes down to me and you.
I guess its meant to be,
Forever you and me, after all.

When love is truly right
(this time its truly right.)
It lives from year to year.
It changes as it goes,
Oh, and on the way it grows,
But it never disappears,

Chorus

Always just beyond my touch,
You know I needed you so much.
After all, what else is livin for?

Chorus-repeat

Closer

2008-07-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

Closer

closer

closer

closer

Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don`t know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she`s right there in my ear
Telling me
that she wants to own me
To control me
Come closer
Come closer

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can't break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop

And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

I can feel her on my skin
I can taste her on my tongue
Shes the sweetest taste of sin
The more I get the more I want
She wants to own me.....
Come closer
She says "come closer"

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can't break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)
(Come closer)

I just can`t stop nooooo
I just can`t stop nooooo
I just can`t stop nooooo
I just can`t stop nooooo

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can't break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop

And I just can`t break myself no way
But I don`t want to escape
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop
I just can`t stop

And I just can`t pull myself away
Under Her Spell I can't break
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop

The Pearl

2008-07-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from Moments (Reflections, Experiences, Stories, Thoughts)
by Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD

Do you know how a pearl is formed?

A story I often borrow for weddings is the story of the pearl. The pearl is formed by a clam, two halves joined together as one. In the life of the clam, a grain of sand could come in, causing much pain and discomfort. But the clam does not give up nor split up. Instead, it envelopes that painful, irritating grain of sand with much patience, love and perseverance, till after some time, the very same painful, irritating grain of sand has become a precious pearl...

Go on, girl

2008-07-04T19:49:00.000-07:00

[Verse 1]
I can't get it back,
But I don't want it back,
I realize that,
She don't know how to act,
Never been a dumb dude no I'm not dense,
I just had a slight lack of common sense,
I was the good guy, she was the bad girl,
I'm thinkin one girl, she's thinkin me earl, james, and jimmy
Yea she had plenty,
But love for me she didn't have any,

[Pre-Chorus]
I was inviting her into my heart,
She was out riding in some other man's car,
She was my nighttime, thought I was her star,
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong,
Won't take long for me to move on,

[Chorus]
Please don't worry bout me I'm fine,
(please don't worry bout me I'm fine)
Only gonna play the fool one time,
(only gonna play the fool one time)
Trust me when I say,
That I'll be okay,
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl

[Verse 2]
I can't get it back,
But I don't want it back,
I realize that,
She don't know how to act,
Try to settle down and look what I get,
Thought it was my time but I guess not yet,
She's at the bar, gettin drinks from many men,
I'm at the house, thinkin she's with her girlfriends,
Just not knowin, truly not knowin,
I look back now like man I was open,

[Pre-Chorus]
I was inviting her into my heart,
She was out riding in some other man's car,
She was my nighttime, thought I was her star,
Guess I was wrong, but see I'm strong,
Won't take long for me to move on,

[Chorus]
Please don't worry bout me I'm fine,
(please don't worry bout me I'm fine)
Only gonna play the fool one time,
(only gonna play the fool one time)
Trust me when I say,
That I'll be okay,
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl

[Verse 3]
The mistake I made is clear,
We never should've been together,
That's the reason you're not here,
I know that I can do much better,
Not a single salty tear,
Not a feeling in my chest,
Baby I'm feelin no stress,
I'm too fly to be depressed,

Go on girl (go on girl) go on girl
Go on girl (go on girl) go on girl

[Chorus]
Please don't worry bout me I'm fine,
(please don't worry bout me I'm fine)
Only gonna play the fool one time,
(only gonna play the fool one time)
Trust me when I say,
That I'll be okay,
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl

[Chorus]
Please don't worry bout me I'm fine,
(please don't worry bout me I'm fine)
Only gonna play the fool one time,
(only gonna play the fool one time)
Trust me when I say,
That I'll be okay,
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl (go on girl)
Go on girl
Go on girl go on girl go on girl
I'll be fine

Just like a pill

2008-07-04T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm lying here on the floor where you left me
I think I took too much
I'm crying here, what have you done?
I thought it would be fun

I can't stay on your life support, there's a shortage in the switch...
I can't stay on your morphine, 'coz its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better, you keep making me ill
You keep making me ill

I haven't moved from the spot where you left me
This must be a bad trip
All of the other pills, they were different
Maybe I should get some help

I can't stay on your life support, there's a shortage in the switch...
I can't stay on your morphine, 'coz its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better, you keep making me ill
You keep making me ill

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better, you keep making me ill
You keep making me ill

I can't stay on your life support, there's a shortage in the switch...
I can't stay on your morphine, 'coz its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she's being a little bitch,
I think I'll get outta here, where I can

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of making me better, you keep making me ill
You keep making me ill

Centre of my Life

2008-07-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

Let my walk speak loud
And my words be true
Let my life be whole
With my eyes on you
Lord I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me,
Holding onto You

Freedom comes
When I call You Lord
You are Lord my God

You are the centre of it all,
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty
I surrender all
I make you
The centre of my life
Lord, I respond with all I am
you placed in me the song
Of heavens melody
Your Majesty
I live to sing Your song

I have found Your peace
It replaces any fear
You have done it all
I can trust in you
So I'm stepping out
From the comfort zone
Letting go of me
Holding onto you

This is your song not mine
It is your song that bring healing to this land
This is your song not mine
It is your song that brings freedom
Freedom comes, when I call you Lord
Freedom comes, when I call you Lord
You are Lord, my God
You are the song
You are the majesty
I live to sing your song
Your majesty
I live to sing Your song

Power of Your Love

2008-07-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I’ve found in You
Lord I’ve come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love

~ chorus ~
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I’ll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love

(repeat chorus twice)

And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
(repeat)

Five Love Languages

2008-07-01T04:01:00.000-07:00

Here are the five love languages accdg. to Dr. Gary Chapman:

Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Quality Time

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

Receiving Gifts

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

Physical Touch

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

I have assessed myself and it turns out that my primary love language is quality time and my secondary love language is physical touch. What love language are you? ^_~ Assess yourself now thru this link.

Say you'll never go

2008-06-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

How can I make it through the day
Without you
You have been so much a part of me
(and if you'll go)
I'll never know what to do
How can I carry on my way
The memories
When all that is left is the pain of my history
Why should I live my life today

I cannot live out on my own
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition
Please don't ever go
For I cannot live my life alone

CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

How can I make my dreams come true
Without you
You were the one who gave love to me
(And don't you know)
You are my fantasy

I cannot live out on my own
(I can't do anything at all)
And just forget the love you've always shown
And accept the fate of my condition

Please don't ever go
For I cannot live my life alone

CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

(Instrumental)

CHORUS:
Say you'll never go
Say you'll never go out my way
Say you'll never go
For we can still go on
And make it through
Just say you'll never go
Say you'll never go away

The Search for True Love

2008-06-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

As I search for true love to come, I always find myself getting hurt in the process... I always give my best for it to work out, ending up with nothing at all. I always wanted to be happy because I believe I deserve to be... but I guess happiness is not for me. Maybe, it's just not meant to be... Maybe, I wished too hard that true love would come to me... I expected too much that I just wanted the feeling of someone is loving me. I'm tired already of hoping that someday the right one that they're talking about would find me... that his love would find a way to my heart... but each time I try to find him, I fail... and my heart is broken apart...

At the beginning

2008-06-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

(chorus)
And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there whenthe storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(chorus)

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

(chorus)

In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

That's the way it is

2008-06-11T14:09:00.000-07:00

I can read your mind and I know your story
I see what you're going through
It's an uphill climb, and I'm feeling sorry
But I know it will come to you

Don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you question me for a simple answer
I don't know what to say, no
But it's plain to see, if you stick together
You're gonna find a way, yeah

So don't surrender 'cause you can win
In this thing called love

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow
'Cause love's gonna conquer it all, all

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

That's the way it is
That's the way it is, babe
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is.

Gotta go my own way

2008-06-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

[ Gabriella: ] (sigh)
[ Gabriella: ] Troy
[ Gabriella: ] Listen

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something 'bout us
Doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try some how the plan
Is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
but I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok...

[ Chorus:(Gabriella) ]
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday,
but at least for now
I gotta go my own way (my own way)

[ Gabriella: ]
Don't want to leave it all behind,
but I get my hopes up,
and I watch them fall everytime
Another color turns to grey,
and it's just too hard to watch it all
Slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause
I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok...

[ Chorus:(Gabriella) ]
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday,
but at least for now
I gotta go my own way

[ Troy: ]
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?

[ Gabriella: ]
What about trust?

[ Troy: ]
You know I never wanted to hurt you

[ Gabriella: ]
And what about me?

[ Troy: ]
What am I suppose to do?

[ Gabriella: ]
I gotta leave, but

[ Both: ]
I'll miss you

[ Gabriella: ]
ooh oh...Soo I've got to move on and be who I am

[ Troy: ]
Why do you have to go?

[ Gabriella: ]
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand

[ Troy: ]
I'm trying to understand

[ Gabriella: ]
We might find our place in this world someday,
but at least for now.....

[ Troy: ]
I want you to stay

[ Gabriella: ]
I wanna go my own way...

[ Gabriella: ]
I've got to move on and be who I am

[ Troy: ]
What about us?

[ Gabriella: ]
I just don't belong here
I hope you'll understand

[ Troy: ]
I'm trying to understand

[ Gabriella: ]
We might find our place in
this world someday (world someday)
But at least for now
I've gotta go my own way
I've gotta go my own way
I've gotta go... my own way.

All I wanted

2008-06-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

A poem I've written for someone few years ago...

I wanted to hug him but he wanted me to go away
I wanted to be with him but he kept ignoring me
I wanted to stay with him but he drove me away
I wanted to live with him but he kept hurting me

I wanted to ease the pain he was giving me but he was my cure
I wanted to run away from him but he was my shelter
I wanted let go of him but he was my happiness
I wanted to live without him but he was my life

All I wanted was to love him
But he did not love me like the way I did
I never wanted to leave him
But I wanted him to be happy

I was lost without him
But I needed to survive alone
I wanted him so badly
But I needed to be strong alone

I was hurting
But I needed to leave him
I wanted to go back
But I needed to love myself

I was hurting
So let go
I was suffering
So break free

I needed to leave him
But I really love him
I wanted to forget him
But my mind was thinking of him

It was hard to let go of him
Because I wanted to be with him
It was painful to bear
Because I wanted to be there

Oh... I just want to love him
But he does not really love me
He does not make me feel important
He does not want to be with me

Please

2008-06-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

Look at me
Show me your eyes that tell me you need me

Listen to me
Lend me your ears and hear my stories

Talk to me
Tell me how much you miss me

Hug me
Hold me tight, darling

Let me feel that you care for me
Show me that you love me

Please, baby, please...

I miss you so much...

Brown Eyes

2008-05-29T01:56:00.001-07:00

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
You stepped to me and then you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about
Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
we had butterflies although we tried to hide
and we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand,
the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one
ohhhhhh,

I know that he loves me cause told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause its me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
Remember the first day we had an argument
we apologized and then we compromised
and we've haven't argued since
Remember the first day we stopped playing games
Remember the first day you fell in love with me
it felt so good for you to say those words
cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each other's hands,
the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to fall in love
and I knew right there and then that you were the one

I know that he loves cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so

I'm so happy, so happy that your in my my life
and baby now that your apart of me
you've showed me
showed me the true meaning of love(the true meaning of love)
and I know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so

Catch Me I'm Falling

2008-05-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why
But when I look in your eyes
I felt something that seems so right
You’ve got yours I’ve got mine
I think I’m losing my mind
'Cause I shouldn’t feel this way

Catch me, I’m falling for you
And I don’t know what to do

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me, I’m falling for you
How can time be so wrong?
For love to come along
Catch me, I’m falling for you

How can love let it go
When it has no place to go
And I can't go along pretending
that love is in here to stay
catch me im falling for you

If I could just walk away
Without you from day to day
I would die just thinking of you
I think that we’ll never be
More than friends, you and me
But why do I feel this way

Catch me, I’m falling for you
And I don’t know what to do

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me, I’m falling for you
How can time be so wrong?
For love to come along
Catch me, I’m falling for you

Maybe someday I’ll see
Why love did this to me
'Cause I can’t go along,pretending
That love is in here to stay
Catch me, I’m falling for you
Catch me, I’m falling for you

And is it wrong for me to feel this way
'Cause I don’t know what to do without you
I’M FALLING FOR YOU
Catch me, I’m falling for you

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me, I'm falling for you

If ever you're in my arms again

2008-05-07T05:47:00.000-07:00

It all came so easy, all the loving you gave me
The feelings we shared, and I still can remember
How your touch was so tender, it told me you cared
We had a once in a lifetime
But I just couldn't see, until it was gone
A second once in a lifetime, may be too much to ask
But I swear from now on

Chorus:
If ever you're in my arms again
This time I'll love you much better
If ever you're in my arms again
This time I'll hold you forever
This time will never end

Now I'm seeing clearly
How I still need you near me
I still love you so
There's something between us
That won't ever leave us
There's no letting go
We had a once in a lifetime
But I just didn't know it
Till my life fell apart
A second once in a lifetime
Isn't too much to ask
'Cause I swear from the heart

Chorus

The best of romances,
deserve second chances
I'll get to you somehow
'Cause I promise now

Singles' Encounter Weekend No. 12

2008-04-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

I've never felt so much touched by God until I met them...

For the past few days, I've been not myself anymore. I've been trying to be ok yet it still hurts so much inside... like my heart is going to burst into tiny pieces... I'm so happy God has given me many true friends that I could count on through thick and thin. They help me to move on and fix my broken life... One of them encouraged me to join her on a retreat held last April 18-20, 2008 in Sienna Retreat House, San Jose del Monte City, Bulacan then my life started to change...

Struggling to make the journey

It was a busy Friday and the work load for the day really burned me out. My team lead for tech support was on leave too. That day was so miserable. My friend already called me, telling me that we were running late for the retreat and yet, I'm the midst of a rush task. I rushed, trying to finish everything before I leave but I really lack the time. I just left my work and almost fly to her apartment to fetch her. It's difficult to have a ride - either by cab or jeepney. I was already losing my patience as I wait in Ayala Avenue for almost an hour. After fetching my friend, we hurried to the MRT and went to Ortigas where her parents were already waiting to drive us to the retreat house. When we arrived at Gate-2, it was 9.30 pm and we needed to wait for another hour for someone to lead us to the other gate because it is already locked... At last, we arrived but we missed the first session...

The chosen ones of God

There, I met them, the chosen ones of God... All in all, we were 13 candidates for Singles' Encounter Weekend 12.

Myself aka "computer geek"
Charmaine Xyza San Miguel aka "reyna ng sablay"
Rhea Diaz aka "obsessive complusive"
Madel Roxas aka "happy person"
Christine Aguilar
Mariz Lazaro aka "kikay"
Janina Charise Bautista aka "baby chef"

Lui Pacheco aka "rehab boy"
Ron Roxas aka "matakaw"
Jayson Rivera aka "baluktot"
Raymond Ramirez
Dexter Anguac
Juan Paolo Lleno

Know thy self

In that retreat, I began to discover myself again... I've known the different masks that I wear for me to be acceptable by other people. During those sessions, I can't help but cry with all the things that I've realized. I let go of pain, anger, rejection, fear and other emotions and I felt so much better now...

The truth shall set you free

The truth really hurts but one must accept it to be free. I've become to realize that I've been only pretending most of the time to please everybody. I would start moving all the masks and be true to myself. Now, I've opened up my eyes to the reality that when you love, you would also get hurt... and you need to love yourself first before loving others. Respect yourself.

The start of something new

It is nice to know that there are people caring for you. God uses other people as instruments for us to find the true meaning of life. Everyday, the SE 12 group would send group messages to each other - share what they feel, their problems and achievements. There is a sense of belongingness that they let me feel even if we're all separated by distance. We long for each other's presence and our bonding last retreat was quite strong that even if we are faced with difficult challenges in life, we could surpass them all with the help of each other.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

2008-04-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

"Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I've known these biblical verses ever since I was in grade school... Only now, I have fully understood its true meaning...True love is really difficult to achieve.

Love is patient, love is kind

I remember the time when I was supposed meet my ex-bf before. He told me to meet him at the the train station... His mobile phone could not be reached when I have attempted to call him as I was standing there for 2 hours already. Then, I have decided to call him at their house. I found out that he just woke up. I've already been waiting for hours... *Sighs...* It took him 1 hour to prepare himself and another 2 hours to go to where I am... total of 5 hours all in all. I've still managed to wait for him even though I really wanna shout at him for being late and making me wait all the time.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking

He often hurts me with his words and his actions... He does not appreciate a bit of me and I feel I'm not treasured at all... He's bad to me, as they say to me, but I loved him so much that I didn't want to leave him before...

It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs

I wanna get angry every time he does it to me... Whenever I try to fix things for both of us, he'll just walk away and I would just run after him, even if the reason of all the arguments is just simple. But I really loved him that time, I always run after him...

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth

The truth hurts but it shall set you free... When my ex-bf told me he wants to broke up with me, my tears can't help but fall... Here was the guy I have loved more than I have even loved myself and he wanted his freedom. It really hurts and the pain was great, but it is the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves

I have always wished that he would fetch me from school and the office, but he was not like that. He preferred being with his group of friends and always entrusting other people to take care of me. I envied those girls with those type of boyfriends who always attend immediately to their needs... I always hoped that he wanted to protect me...

Love never fails

After our long relationship that lasted for 3 years 9 months, I really broke down... My heart was shattered into pieces... I tried to make him come back to me. I almost knelt down before him, asking him to choose me over her but he turned around and left me. I wanna believe it's not over but... our precious relationship ended and we failed...

If you asked me to

2008-04-27T19:04:00.001-07:00

Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
Its been a long time since Ive had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said Id never let nobody near my heart again darlin
I said Id never let nobody in

But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to

Somehow ever since Ive been around you
Cant go back to being on my own
Cant help feeling darling since Ive found you
That Ive found my home
That Im finally home
I said Id never let nobody get too close to me darling
I said I needed, needed to be free

(but if you asked me to...)

Asked me to, I will give my world to you baby
I need you now
Ask me to and Ill do anything for you baby, for you baby

If you asked me to
Id let you in my life forever
If you asked me to...

Let the Joy Rise

2008-04-24T18:46:00.001-07:00

It was one of those unfamiliar days
I was looking for one friendly face
There seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over my heard
But I was never known to be sad
All I wanted was to spread love and get some back
I know the brighter days will come and find me

And when there were times when I feel all alone
I reach down inside, feel the strength in my soul
I look to the skies, dry the tears from my eyes

I let the joy rise, from the ocean to the morning sky
And if the love falls, just remember
You've got to let the joy rise

My solid rock that I stand on now
My inner faith has lifted me up now
I'm free and happy to shine my light on you, for you, oh...

There are no more times when I feel all alone
I reached down inside, feel the strength in my soul
I look to the skies, dry the tears from my eyes

I let the joy rise, from the ocean to the morning sky
And if the love falls, just remember
You've got to let the joy rise

Have you ever?

2008-04-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go