The leaf, the tree and the wind

One busy day, I've got this text message which really caught my attention. It says:

Who should be blamed when a leaf fell from a tree? Is it the wind that blew it away? or the tree that let it go? or is it the leaf who grew tired of holding on?

You cannot blame the wind for blowing... and the leaf tried its best to hold on despite the wind is blowing it hard... I think the tree is the one responsible for the falling leaf. Why? If that tree has given enough nutrients to the leaf, the leaf will be much stronger and it will be able to survive the wind even the wild storm... If that tree has been strong enough to support the leaf, the leaf has not fallen... and the leaf might have been holding on to the tree until now...

It's funny how this simple text message can relate to what's happening in my life now. Sometimes, love just aint enough... No matter how much you try stay in the relationship, with your partner... if your partner won't help you to work it out, it's useless. You would just find yourself starting to let go of him... The pain is too much that no matter how much you want to still hold on, the wind is blowing too hard and you're falling apart... and that tree won't do anything to support and help you... then you would prefer to let go of him even if you love him too much because the pain hurts like hell...

All I wanted

A poem I've written for someone few years ago...

I wanted to hug him but he wanted me to go away
I wanted to be with him but he kept ignoring me
I wanted to stay with him but he drove me away
I wanted to live with him but he kept hurting me

I wanted to ease the pain he was giving me but he was my cure
I wanted to run away from him but he was my shelter
I wanted let go of him but he was my happiness
I wanted to live without him but he was my life

All I wanted was to love him
But he did not love me like the way I did
I never wanted to leave him
But I wanted him to be happy

I was lost without him
But I needed to survive alone
I wanted him so badly
But I needed to be strong alone

I was hurting
But I needed to leave him
I wanted to go back
But I needed to love myself

I was hurting
So let go
I was suffering
So break free

I needed to leave him
But I really love him
I wanted to forget him
But my mind was thinking of him

It was hard to let go of him
Because I wanted to be with him
It was painful to bear
Because I wanted to be there

Oh... I just want to love him
But he does not really love me
He does not make me feel important
He does not want to be with me