I am a Cactus

I remember someone special told me that managing love relationships is like taking care of plants... If you take care of the plants very well, they would grow healthy, bloom with flowers and later on, bear fruits. Just like in love relationships, if you give much love, care and attention to your partner, the bond between both of you will be stronger, helping you grow into better individuals. How ironic that he has been able to compare plants to relationships but what the hell is he treating me like this now...

If I am a plant and he will be taking care of me, I will prefer to be a cactus. Why? It's very simple. Cactus plants do not require much care and attention. They have sufficient supply of water for themselves and they can live alone in the desert despite of the very hot climate. I wanna be a cactus when he treats me like this... It's as if I don't exist... At least, I can still care for him even if he does not care for me anymore...

All I wanted

A poem I've written for someone few years ago...

I wanted to hug him but he wanted me to go away
I wanted to be with him but he kept ignoring me
I wanted to stay with him but he drove me away
I wanted to live with him but he kept hurting me

I wanted to ease the pain he was giving me but he was my cure
I wanted to run away from him but he was my shelter
I wanted let go of him but he was my happiness
I wanted to live without him but he was my life

All I wanted was to love him
But he did not love me like the way I did
I never wanted to leave him
But I wanted him to be happy

I was lost without him
But I needed to survive alone
I wanted him so badly
But I needed to be strong alone

I was hurting
But I needed to leave him
I wanted to go back
But I needed to love myself

I was hurting
So let go
I was suffering
So break free

I needed to leave him
But I really love him
I wanted to forget him
But my mind was thinking of him

It was hard to let go of him
Because I wanted to be with him
It was painful to bear
Because I wanted to be there

Oh... I just want to love him
But he does not really love me
He does not make me feel important
He does not want to be with me